Signs of Abuse

It is not always easy to figure out if certain actions that your partner does would be considered abuse or not. You may make excuses for your partner’s behavior or convince yourself that you are overreacting and that what you are going through is “your fault/not that bad.”

 The general pattern of domestic violence is that abuse gets worse over time.

If you can see the signs of abuse early on in the relationship, you may have a better chance of getting out safely.


Go over this checklist for signs of abuse.

Think about how you are being treated or how you treat your partner.

The list below points to a sign of abuse and sign of an unhealthy relationship.

If the answers to any are ‘yes’ or if you feel scared, hurt or put down by your partner, you might find it useful to talk to a counselor/advocate at a domestic violence organization for support.

  • Embarrass/make fun of you in front of your friends/family?

  • Put down your accomplishments/goals?

  • Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?

  • Use intimidation/threats to get you to do things?

  • Tell you that you are nothing without him/her?

  • Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?

  • Call, text, or email you several times a day to “check up on you” or show up at your work, school, home, etc. to make sure that you are where you said you would be?

  •  Use drugs/alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

  • Blame you for how she or he feels/acts?

  • Pressure you sexually for things you don’t want to do or force you to do sexual acts against your will?

  • Make you feel like there is no way out of the relationship?

  • Prevents you from doing things/events you want?

  • keeping you from family/friends

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